Ash Activates the Mew Glitch
by Gaige's Peppy Sweetheart
Summary: What if Ash and gang did a series of random events and followed like in the game and activated Mew's Glitch? Contains OOC and, of course, Mew! Will he catch her? Will she hug him? Will he put her in the PC? Will she be...a stalker! What will happen, only I know!
1. Chapter 1

**Warning: Contains utter randomness and OOC! I do not own Pokemon, but I do own the responsibility of making you laugh or hate this story!**

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><p><strong>May 28th, 1998<strong>

Ash and gang had just finished the battle of Cerulean City.

"You know, that was a pretty fun battle until Team Rocket came around," said Misty. "I wonder if we can have them arrested for stalking a group of kids."

"I'm not a kid!" said Brock defensively.

"Yeah, those guys are loonies," said Ash. "I need to go to the Pokemon Center and the market."

The gang went to the said locations and Ash bought 27 Pokeballs.

"Well, there goes all my savings," said Ash, obviously not caring too much. "I guess I should've told mom to save some when she contacted me on the PokeGear."

"You dummy, do you honestly think you're gonna catch 27 Pokemon anytime soon?" said Misty.

"Or maybe a couple of rare ones that take multiple tries," added Ash.

"See, there's an idea," said Brock. "At least he's thinking...sorta."

"Where do you wanna go now?" said Ash.

"Let's go to the lighthouse on Route 25. I hear it's beautiful and there are bound to be beautiful girls there," said Brock.

"Uh...okay," agreed Ash. Ash and the gang went north to Nugget Bridge. It took over 2 hours for him to beat all 5 trainers. Ash pointed to a patch of grass that was on a separate "peninsula" and it looked like a bug trainer.

"Damn, you suck at battling," commented Brock.

"Tell me about it," said Misty. "I've been with him a week before you came along."

"Hey, I'm still getting the hang of this, so chill out!" said Ash. "Let's go battle that guy." They walked over to that area and Ash was a footstep out of the guy's view.

"Wait a minute, guys, I need to rest my Pokemon," he said. "Pidgeotto, fly us back to Cerulean City!" Ash and gang took a step forward and were within view of the bug catcher.

"Hey! What the *beep* are you doing?!" shouted the guy. Ash, Misty, and Brock combined their 280 pounds and stood on Pidgeotto's back. They began singing the '60s song "Magic Carpet Ride" as they were flying. They finally arrived to the Pokemon Center. Ash walked up to Nurse Joy and she said,

"Sorry, I can't heal your Pokemon right now. My supervisor told me not to in this situation."

"Uh...what?" said Ash. Nurse Joy said nothing else.

"Let's just leave already," said Brock. Misty and Ash agreed. They took their sweet time and went up the Nugget Bridge again and a trainer with a Slowpoke battled Ash. Ash won, of course, and he decided to go back to the Pokemon Center while riding on Pidgeotto.

"Hey!" said a female. It was Officer Jenny. "Do you have the Thunder badge?"

"Uh, no?" said Ash. "Why?"

"You can't fly without it, but I'm issuing you a warning," she said. "Have a nice day!" She got on her motorcycle and went to Dunkin' Donuts.

"Weird," said Ash. Ash healed his Pokemon and they went to the Nugget Bridge again.

"Tee hee hee," said a shrilly voice. "Seems like you activated me. Let's play!"

"What is going on?!" shouted Ash.


	2. Chapter 2

"What's going on?!" stated Ash again.

A shrilly voice giggled and appeared out from under the bridge. "You activated me! I was told to appear to any trainer who followed what you did and you're the only one!"

"Who told you to do that?" said Misty.

"Nintendo!" said the voice.

"Who the *beep* are you?" said Ash. He took out his Pokedex and pointed it at the pink figure.

Dexter activated and said, "What the *beep*! Who the hell is this Pokemon? I don't know and I'm a *beep*ing computer! It must be, like, from a different region or something. Awesome!"

"Well, aren't you a bold one!" giggled the pink figure to the Pokedex that Ash put back into his pocket. "I'm Mew! The ancestor of all *beep* Pokemon!" "Why is there so much beeping?" stated Brock. "This is the third time I've heard that annoying 1000 Hertz sound effect!"

"Who the *beep* cares?!" said Mew. She grabbed stuff from a dimension she created and threw confetti everywhere. She approached Ash and hugged him with her tiny pink arms. "Now it is my job to fight you. But first..." She created a huge flash of white light and a girl with white hair and a purple and turquoise sweater with very short black shorts on appeared.

"Whoa, dude! That was spectacular!" said the girl. She looked at her surroundings and was utterly confused. "Wait, what the *beep*? This isn't Virbank City!"

"Roxie, what's up, gurrrrrrl!?" sang Mew. "Play us a tune as we start our fight!"

"Uh...okay," said Roxie. She played her awesome guitar while Ash took out a Pokeball.

"I'm gonna catch you! That way everyone will look up to my awesomeness!" he said with determination.

"Sure, go for it," said Mew. Ash threw the Pokeball at 92 miles per hour and it hit Mew in the head and she screamed. "Why the *beep* did you do that?" she shouted as she got turned into red energy. She got sucked into the ball, but within a millisecond, the ball burst into 28,000 pieces.

"WHAT?!" shouted Ash in confusion.

"Tee hee," giggled Mew. "Do you think it would be that easy? If you're gonna try to catch me, at least send out a Pokemon whom I will probably easily beat!"

"Ash, quit wasting your time; there's no way you could handle a legendary even if you caught her," stated Misty.

"I don't care! Watch this!" said Ash as he grabbed a ball off his hip. "Go...Butterfree!"

"Freeee!" cheered the butterfly.

"Use sleep powder!" commanded Ash. Butterfree flapped his giant wings and expelled turquoise dust in Mew's vicinity. Mew turned into a Pidgeot and flapped her new wings to send the dust right back at Ash and Butterfree!

"Awesome! Stellar moves, Mew!" said Roxie with a thumbs up. She looked at Misty and Brock and said, "Why are you guys dressed in such out-of-date fashion? You guys are sooo not cosmopolitan."

"Well, your looks are a bit unique," said Brock. "This is the year 1998, after all."

"WHAT!?" screamed Roxie, causing Ash and Mew to halt the battle. "I was still wearing diapers in that year! What happened? Did I get teleported to the past or something?!"

"Ooh, poo, looks like she found out," said Mew as she sighed. "I'll send you back to the crappy year of 2012." She clapped her hands and Roxie disappeared. Mew hovered to Ash and hugged him again.

"Okay, sweetie, let's keep fighting!" she laughed.


	3. Chapter 3

Mew giggled and hugged Ash yet again. "Are you ready, sweetie?" she said as she blinked her long eyelashes she randomly created.

"Uh...Honestly, I'm not sure," replied Ash. "You're kinda creeping me out."

"_Kinda?" _she said. "Ahh. That means I'm not properly doing my job. What if I..." She turned her back to the humans and transformed to a Haunter. She licked her face and the triangular eyes were on her tongue. "Ooga booga!" she said with a laugh.

"Oh, *beep* no!" exclaimed Brock who was completely scared. "Let's get outta here!"

"You got that right!" said Ash as Pikachu hopped on his shoulder and they ran south, abandoning Mew.

"Awww..." said Mew with a sigh.

Ash, Misty, and Brock were heading to their next location: Vermillion City. They couldn't leave the perimeter of the city because a tree was blocking the path and the rest of the area was fenced off. Ash saw that officer Jenny was standing in front of a random house.

"What's wrong?" asked Misty to the policewoman.

"Team Rocket broke into their house," she said.

"Can we go in?" asked Ash.

"Knock yourself out," said Officer Jenny as she stepped aside, allowing the three humans access into the robbed house. A man and a woman were in the house with blank looks on their faces.

"What's the matter, miss?" said Brock to the woman.

"Team Rocket must be trying to dig themselves into no good!" she said angrily.

"How about you, mister?" said Misty.

"They stole my prize TM dig! I was gonna use it on Diglett!" he sobbed.

"...Right..." said Ash as they went through the back door. There was an unknown Rocket Grunt standing there.

"How did you punks get here?" he said.

"Doesn't matter; you've harassed these people and you gotta pay!" bellowed Ash with rage.

"Pika!"

"No way! I'm not listening to you!" said the grunt.

"Tee hee! I think you should~" said Mew's sing-song voice. She teleported in front of the group and they all gasped.

"What are you doing here?!" shouted Misty.

"Helping!" giggled Mew as she transformed into a female Machoke who had a sports bra on. She flexed her muscles and said, "I should be on Sports Illustrated."

"No, just...no," said Brock who face-palmed.

"Hmph!" said Machoke/Mew. She grabbed the Rocket grunt and threw him into the horizon, leaving a twinkle in the sky as he flew off to who-knows-where.

"Well, thanks!" said Ash. "Now we can get moving to Vermillion City!"

Mew/Machoke approached Ash and gave him a huge bear hug. "No, stop! Stop!" he screamed in pain.

"Tee hee, sorry," she apologized. "Good luck on your journey! I'll be watching you!"

They all sweat dropped and ran. "Quick! Into the underground tunnel!" said Misty.

"You guys can't escape from me," said Mew with a creepy tone like the one Sabrina used in the anime.


	4. Chapter 4, Of Course

Mew was sad that Ash and his friends left. She was still in the Machoke form and was sad. She wanted a doughnut for no reason and went into town as her current form and got a lot of weird looks since Machokes don't wear sports bras, but she didn't care. She was the legendary ancestor of all Pokemon and she had to cover her theoretical muscular chest. All the sudden, a jingle echoed across the streets and she turned around. It was the ice cream truck! She got so excited that she started to run after it, but she didn't look where she was going and got hit by a bus!

"Did you feel that?" said a passenger on the bus.

"Yep. It looks like a Machoke collided with the bus," said the driver with little care as he continued driving. Mew, on the other hand, was not pleased in the least bit. She was screaming at the top of her lungs as she was still stuck on the grille of the bus that was heading who-knows-where.

Ash and company had finally gotten out of the painstakingly long underground tunnel that went underneath Saffron City. Along the way, they met some people who offered some shady stuff such as Slowpoke tails, fried Shellder on a stick, Magikarp eggs, and strangely Rose Art colored pencils. Ash got a thing of colored pencils and gave away 582 yen for it.

"Why do you need colored pencils?" asked Misty. "You could've bought something to eat with that money you got after battling that hiker!"

"Oh, mind your own business; I'm still 10 years old and I'll do what I want!" retorted Ash as he snapped his fingers to and fro. They saw a sign that said "Route 6: Look! Over there! It's Bill's Lighthouse that moved from Route 25 somehow! That's cray cray fo sho!"

"Who wrote that ghetto sign?" asked Brock.

"Who the *Beep* cares?" said Misty. "Let's go to the lighthouse." They followed a path and they were on a bluff that was about 891 feet above sea level overlooking the beautiful ocean. They saw at least 18 different lighthouses that all looked the same.

"Which one is Bill's?" said Ash. "And what makes his lighthouse any more special than the others?"

"Maybe you missed that giant neon sign that says: 'This is Bill's lighthouse. It's more special than the rest because it has a cool neon sign. And tacos.'"

"Awesome! Tacos!" said Misty as she was suddenly craving a tamale and a plate of raw onions.

Meanwhile with Mew…..

The bus had stopped around Route 6 coincidentally not far from the underground tunnel. The driver finally decided to give a crap and got out and looked at the Machoke, a.k.a. Mew. The grabbed a stick and poked Machoke's chiseled abs with it. Mew started groaning and was able to get herself out of the bus. She looked at the man who was poking her and snatched the stick away and poked the man angrily.

"Stop poking me!" screamed Mew. "How do you like me now?!" she said with a giggle.

"Aww! The Pokemon! It talks!" said the driver as he climbed into the bus and drove away. He was too scared to pay attention and ran over a pineapple that popped the tires.

Mew turned into her normal self and saw Ash and his gang go to Bill's lighthouse. She belched and cried since she didn't get her doughnut or ice cream cone but she nonetheless followed them. She couldn't resist tacos.

Ash pounded the door. "Hello? Open up! We want tacos!"

A voice on the door intercom said, "Quick! Get inside! I need help!"

"Uhh, okay," said Ash. They opened the door and saw a large Kabuto on a throne.

"All hail King Kabuto!" Ash said as he got on his knees and bowed. Pikachu fell over with embarrassment of his trainer.

"The royal king commands you to bring your ass over here now!" said the Kabuto. Ash turned to Misty and Brock. They shrugged shoulders and did as it said. "Good. Now see that tiny-ass button? My arms are so short I can't push it!"

"Wait—So you're not a human?" said Misty.

"No *beep* Sherlock," said the Kabuto. "Now hurry and press it! I ate too many tacos and I gotta fart super badly! I'd probably die from the stench!"

"Why are you dressed like this?" asked Ash persistently.

"None of your business! Push the button, dummy!" said the person in the costume. Ash shrugged his shoulders and pushed it. He pushed it and inside it was…

"MEW!" they all shouted in fear.

"Yes, but my name is Bill, silly!" said the figure. The trio saw that it was another outfit.

"You had an outfit underneath an outfit?" asked Misty rhetorically.

"Yes! Now press that button! Quickly!" instructed Bill who was dressed as Mew. Mew was watching through a window and gasped.

"How dare he dress as me!" she said angrily. "He makes me look obese!"

Ash pressed a button and the 16-inch Mew costume disappeared and a 6 foot 4 guy appeared.

"How did you do that?!" screamed Ash as he fell onto his butt in astonishment.

"I used a shrink ray to get small," explained Bill. "I dress as Pokemon and have tea parties with random Pokemon like Zubat. I have a mission to find a Pokemon that is legendary and roams the seas. Let's look outside."

"Where are the tacos?" said Ash.

"Right there," said Bill as he pointed to a table that had a cloth on it. "How could you guys not smell them?"

Mew's eyes sparkled as she looked at the tacos through the window. She knew what she was doing when they left.


End file.
